In a world full of standards, competition and perfectionism, here’s why you might consider looking for imperfection too.

It was the last day at the farm, or to be specific, the last few hours before we left the farm. We had finished our training late in the evening yesterday and today we were all set to head back home.

For the past three days, we had been staying on the farm, all we focused was on training and learning, and little did we take time to explore around. So, on the final day, we decided to take a tour around the farm, the place where we had felt at home for the past three days.

The farm is situated in the middle of the hill in a peaceful setting surrounded by lush green grasses, flowers, trees, and varieties of bamboo species. A lot of bees can be seen around flowers in the daytime while at night fireflies can be seen flying around the trees.

There is also a spring that originates right through the hill and flows along different sections of the farm. The spring water is well utilized for drinking purposes with the help of the filtration process as well as a small pool is made out of it for recreational use.

As we were walking around the farm, we came across a section where vegetables were grown locally for the farm. And to be particular, we came across brinjal(eggplant), it was bearing fruits but the leaves seemed to be eaten by some kind of pests.

At first, I hadn’t noticed the leaves until one of our friends raised the question;

“Why is the leaf looking like that, is it some defect?”

The answer we got really surprised us, it particularly surprised me to the extent that I felt I should write about it. (that’s how this blog was born)

The leaves of the eggplant were eaten by a pest, which is why the scratches and holes around the leaves were clearly visible.

This might sound particularly interesting but the only reason the action of pests was visible around the plant was that pesticides/ insecticides weren’t used in the process. Had the pesticides been used, the so-called defect caused by insects wouldn’t have been visible as the pests wouldn’t have existed in the first place. Any kind of pests, either good or bad would’ve been killed by the pesticides.

While I was there listening to the whole conversation, something had shifted in myself and in my thought pattern that day.

Ever since that day, every time I go to the market, I don’t try to look for the most perfect-looking fruits or vegetables, rather I try to look for the imperfect ones, the ones whose shape is not perfect, the ones whose leaves have the sign of being eaten by insects. The more imperfect it looks, the more likely that external measures(pesticides, insecticides, etc) haven’t been applied in the process.

While that encounter on the farm, the conversation I had heard had shifted the way I think about buying fruits and vegetables, deep down it also shifted other things within myself. That realization not only made me accept imperfect fruits and vegetables, but it also made me appreciate my own imperfections too.

You and I, We live in this world where only perfection is being celebrated, perfection is being cherished and perfection is being set the standards. Every day we are constantly told to be perfect. And there might come a day when thoughts might hit us hard to be perfect, to be the best, but may we always remember that we can also choose imperfection too. That acceptance of our imperfections is what gives us an edge to keep moving, to keep going.

It was during the pandemic, I constantly found myself in front of a screen, as all our classes were switched to online. Staring at the screen had been so much so that, it took me a while to realise I was not only attending classes but also constantly eating in front of the active screen.

Listening to the class lectures while eating was somehow acceptable as oftentimes our class hours overlapped with meal hours and not to mention the privilege we had to turn off the video cam. It did take me a while to notice that even in those days when I didn’t have classes, I was still in front of the screen watching youtube videos and scrolling down social media while still holding a meal in my hand.

In the back of my mind, I was like; “yeah boy, this is called multi-tasking……”

But deep down, I was slowly starting to question if this newfound habit was worth to continue living or shall be get rid of as soon as possible.

Every day I was locked up in the same loop of putting food on a table, eating with one hand and scrolling with the other. Although I was eating, all my focus was on the screen. Scrolling and surfing might have felt good at that moment but it did take away my peace of mind, ability to appreciate food and certainly to be present at the moment. 

As small as a flap of a butterfly can completely change the outcome of the whole universe. I was in search of a small change, a small flap, a small shift that would help me move upward from my current situation. That’s when the idea of a podcast popped out of my mind.

The idea was simply to listen to podcasts instead of scrolling through social media and YouTube videos. This would simply break the pattern of staring at the screen and instead help me focus on my meal while still listening to good content on the podcasts.

Right after the idea popped into my mind, I replaced my old habits with listening to podcasts. It was just a small switch, every time I had an urge to use social media, I just opened Spotify or any other podcast app. This one small change helped me gain more control over my behaviour and most of all be grateful for what was on the plate right in front of me.

With all the social media and constant exposure to the internet, it’s so much easy for us to compare with others without even knowing their background and story. It can easily ruin our energy. Instead of always looking for the bigger pictures, brighter goals and quick accomplishments, what if we can focus on small victory.

It could be as simple as just waking up, as simple as being committed to drinking water or as simple as calling to our beloved ones. It is when we start to value small things, we attract bigger pictures.

A couple of weeks ago, as I was cleaning my room, I came across a small, black and not that old looking notebook. As I went through the notebook, I started having a sudden flash of my old memories. By the time I reached the last page, I went back again to the first page wherein I noticed a date. To my amazement, it had already been four years that I have been journaling.

Then as I kept on looking through the shelf, I found many other journals. I stopped cleaning for a while and started pondering through my journal with curiosity, enthusiasm and amazement.

As I was busy checking through my journal, I could hear a small voice whispering from within; “Hey, It’s been a while that we have been journalling, why not we share about this?”

At first, I almost ignored the voice, but later that day, the same idea kept on repeating over my mind again and again, so I finally decided to write about it.

In the following blog post, I am sharing some of my learnings from journaling which are solely based on my own experience, perspective and understanding. I could also be wrong, so feel free to leave your thoughts.

# 1 . COMMMUNICATION:

The whole time I was journalling, it was one more step towards communicating with my inner self.

I hadn’t had this realization, up until recently when I started to think; “what had I learned through journaling?” I also didn’t know that I had multiple voices within myself and these voices were really affecting me.

Once I started journalling, slowly and slowly I started understanding both of my negative and positive voices. Most of my life, I had ignored my negative and limiting voices, but once I started journaling it made me aware of both of these voices. And for the first time, I was starting to accept my negative voices.

As I started becoming curious about my negative voices. To my surprise, I had this realisation that those negative voices were no different from the positive ones and both of them were only to serve me.

Nowadays, every time I have a negative voice running over my mind, I sit back and ask; “what are these voices trying to say me, what can I learn from this?”

#2. IT TAUGHT ME TO BE GRATEFUL

“ What did you write in your journal for all those years?’’

The answer is quite obvious and simple. wouldn’t we write our best moments? That’s what I did too. As I started journaling, I also started appreciating the peoples, places, things and the events around my life.

“So, what does it have to do if we are grateful?”

That too used to be my question, what does it do us if we are grateful? Most often when I used to study my role models and personal development books, I used to come across the same question.

But as I started journaling I started to realise that; “The more grateful we can become the more greatness we can attract.”

#3. IT TAUGHT ME FORGIVENESS;

Well, the other question could be; “ Did you write only about your beautiful moments and experiences? ”

The answer is; “ Of course, No.”

When I used to journal, besides writing down the beautiful moments, I also used to note some of my bad moments and experiences.

The more I write about negativity, the easier it became for me to release it in the form of words. Writing down about the bad experiences wholeheartedly would eventually let me release all of it. And finally, it would put me in a state wherein I would be able to forgive the bad events, situations and circumstances. This helped me move forward with a clear mind.

#4. IT TAUGHT ME TO LOOK FORWARD;

Well, the other thing journalling taught me was to look forward to in life. It simply helped me to set goals for the future.

Had I not set goals in my life, but journaling about them would bring a new range of emotions and energy leading me to take actions even during the hard times.

#5. IT TAUGHT ME TO AUDIT MY OWN LIFE;

One of the benefits of writing a journal is that we can look back at it again and again. The good thing about this is that it helps us to know; what we have been through while at the same time providing us with a framework to make necessary changes. It simply helped me to audit myself, change what’s not working and install new habits.

#6. MAKE IT SIMPLE;

When we talk about journaling, we try to start it off with a fancy notebook, a good pen, a bunch of colours, pictures and many more. But through the course of writing, I realised that we shouldn’t have to make it that complicated,

As long as we have a simple notebook and something to write, the more minimalist we become the easier it gets to write.

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That day, I felt the most lively than ever, not because I achieved or got something. It was just that I forgave and it felt so damn right.

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It was mid-week of August. So far I can remember, I was having some sort of misunderstanding with one of my friend and at any cost, I wanted to avoid her.

Long story short, even though I wanted to avoid her but ended up meeting her almost all the time. The last time when I saw her, she looked really tired and stressed because of her hectic work schedules. It was at that moment, all my negativity over her, dropped down and I was able to forgive her with all my heart and soul.

I don’t know how much impact it had upon her but at that moment when I forgive her, I felt the most lively ever.

WHY FORGIVE?

Often times, we put so much of a burden on ourselves thinking negative and unnecessary thoughts. But if we can just practise forgiveness, it sets us free and helps us move towards happiness and fulfilment.

Below are some of my views on practising forgiveness;

HOW TO FORGIVE?

1. COMMUNICATE/TALK: Most often when we have some misunderstanding, we usually become selfish and think we’re right and others are not. But if we can take the courage to step forward, talk to the other person and listen to their concerns, it becomes easier to forgive them.

2. MAKE IT A HABIT: Who we are right now is all because of the habits we have been repeating day after day. How we think, how we act, how we feel, is the result of our habit. So, if we can install a new habit of forgiving others, this beautiful habit can give us more good than harm.

3. JUST DO IT: It might sound easy to say, easy to read about forgiveness, attend the seminar on forgiveness, but if we don’t apply it, it becomes useless. So, one of the best way to forgive others might be “JUST DO IT”. Let’s just forgive others and focus on our own thing.

4. JOURNAL: Journaling and writing down our bad emotions and experiences helps us release our negativity in the form of words. Once our negativity are released, it becomes easier to forgive others.

5. PAIN AND PLEASURE: Another way to foregive others are by using the principle of pain and pleasure. If we can represent enough of pain on our mind for not being able to forgive, this pain initiates us to take action towards forgiving others.

One simple example of using the pain is during the deadline. Once the deadline starts approaching, the painful thought of not being able to finish it, makes us take massive action.

Same goes with the pleasure too. If we can represent enough of positive and pleasurable thoughts on our mind for forgiving someone, it becomes easier to forgive others even faster.

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Forgiveness is a skill, which can be learned and practised over time. It is one of many assets that can be useful throughout our lifetime.

NOTE :

If you are thinking of forgiving someone, this is the time.

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“Most often we are so tied up with our work and busy schedules that we often forget to smile. One day, two days, next day, it becomes our habit and makes us stuck in this loop forever.

Only if we realized that all we need to do was, Smile and it was all free.”

It was 5 in the evening, the sun had just started to leave the sky for the day. It made the sky appear yellowish and somewhat orange mixed with blue. Looking at the beautiful sunset somewhat made me relieved.

The children’s were passing by, vehicles were speeding up, lights were starting to glow, and I was on my way back home. But, couldn’t feel the vibes of the city and people around because deep down, the feeling of being unproductive and tiredness made me lost in the crowd.

It’s like an unconscious pattern, work(anything from school assignments, to jobs, to projects) without fulfillment, without enthusiasm and call it a tiring day, call it a busy day. Whether we are productive or not, whether we did our best or not, if we fell it’s a bad day, it becomes a bad day and whole things get ruined.

“ Feelings sucks, bad feelings sucks even more.”

It made me realize, How we feel also have massive impact besides what we do. Because, when I look back at the day, I had done a ton of to-do lists but still, this unproductive feeling was driving me crazy.

I was slowly becoming aware of this unconscious pattern of feeling unproductive but If I had enough of awareness I believe I could raise beyond these patterns, but I really didn’t know how to do it. I didn’t know How to get out of this feeling.

“Awareness is a big step taken.”

I entered the bus, the lights were bright enough, most of the people were returning back home, some alone, some with their children’s, some were couples and I was returning back with my unproductive and tired feelings.

I don’t know what happened after that, as I was stuck in this feeling of negativity, and all I could remember was standing in front of the door no. 308 and searching for the keys.

I entered the room, put my heavy backpack on the corner, still feeling pissed off. And saw a small cylindrical shaped object blinking with blue colored light, on the interval of 2 seconds, around the corner.

“what’s that…?”, I immediately turned on the light.

I completely forget it was one of my friend’s speaker, I had borrowed. So, I immediately unplugged it, headed through the hallway and knocked on the door on the other end of the floor.

There she was with her roommate and looked busy with her cellphones. While her friend helped me pass the speaker, she still looked busy, she was chatting with someone. I couldn’t get her attention, for I wanted to say to her “Thank you”.

Still, she looked focused on the messenger,

“ Are you flirting the same Nigerian guy……..?”

Her, friend instantly laughed at it and added, “I don’t know why she looks really busy on messenger these days?”

Then, I added, “Are you flirting a bunch of 4/5 random guys or what?”

And, We started hitting random jokes on her, while she was defending alone. Every one of us started laughing as we kept on cracking jokes on one another.

When I looked back, I hadn’t done anything great. I just went there, passed her speaker, cracked some jokes and came back. But, that moment of laughing together with them had a massive impact on my feelings, it instantly raised my vibrations and instantly made me alive once again.

I wonder how much of our negativity and unproductive feelings could be murdered only if we learn to smile, laugh and share happiness.

“Most often we are so tied up with our work and busy schedules that we often forget to smile. One day, two days, next day, it becomes our habit and makes us stuck in this loop forever.

Only if we realized that all we need to do was, Smile and it was all free.”

May we never forget to smile.

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Studying abroad can be a new experience as it helps us get along with new people, new community, new culture and a new way of learning. I have been studying abroad for the past 3 years.

Here, are some of the tips I have figured out to survive an abroad study;

SOCIALISE:

“The level of happiness we experience depends on the level of time we spend on socializing.”

It is really important to socialize if we are staying away from our family members.

Some ways include hanging out with our friends, joining a soccer team, hiking group, cycling group or just being a volunteer during different events.

UPDATE DOCUMENTS:

If we are studying abroad, our documents and visa must be updated every now and then.

But, may we take this event as a learning process, because it helps us to know; How the documentation process is carried out in other countries?

PART-TIME JOB:

This might be applicable to the students depending upon the course they are taking and also the country they are studying in. Some countries allow the students to work for a certain amount of time while some of the courses are such that it won’t even let us think about a part-time job.

But, in this new era of internet and technology, we might not necessarily need to follow the old school way of going to a certain place, work for a certain hour and get paid a certain amount of money. Instead, we can work online through our cellphones and laptops as content creators and still make a living, if we are willing to.

BE PATIENT :

Sometimes, we might feel frustrated to finish the course, get a degree and earn money. we want so many results in so less time. But, we must really be patient, break down the long term goal into pieces and go for it one by one.

Who the hell can eat a whole pizza in one shot? We eat it slice by slice, it’s the same with life. Let’s live it moment by moment.

BE RESPONSIBLE:

While studying abroad no one is going to interfere with our decisions, actions, and intentions. We must be totally responsible for everything we do.

SELF AWARENESS:

During our abroad study, we must be aware of ourselves, our daily habits, daily rituals, our good side, our bad side and make necessary changes if needed.

May we always focus on progressing ourselves to the next level physically, mentally, socially, financially, spiritually and emotionally.

EXERCISE:

Every now and then we hear everyone talking about exercise and it’s a benefit. But, when it comes to implementation, we lack behind. It’s never too late to schedule for yoga, morning hike or a Zumba class.

HEALTHY FOOD:

“Pay now for healthy foods, nor you will have to pay later for a doctor.”

Our body is a result of 90% of what we eat. Eating is a life long process so may we always choose healthy options.

Dave Asprey’s “BULLETPROOF DIET”, can be one of the life-changing books.

THE ART OF COOKING:

This one skill is really useful not only for abroad study but throughout our lifetime.

Cooking is a skill, it can be learned and mastered in the course of time.

I really feel sorry for one of my friend who was really having a hard time managing her food because she simply didn’t know how to cook. Thanks to youtube, she is learning now.

SEXUAL ENERGY TRANSMUTATION:

We are easily caught by topics related to sex and sexuality because sexual energy is one of the highest forms of energy.

This beautiful and powerful energy must be harnessed not only during abroad study but throughout our lifetime.

Neapolian Hill has described sexual energy transmutation in his best selling classical book “Think and grow rich”

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